Table Goblin
a mysterious bipedal creature known to inhabit bbq restaurants in northern florida. the creature is approximately 5’6″ weighing around 115 pounds. it’s table cleaning skills are surp-ssed by no known human being and it has an uncanny ability to clean debris beneath tables without the use of a broom. another observed ability of the table goblin is its ability to squeeze into closets and unjam doors. the table goblin has been observed at several parties in the 850, often sippin’ on red label smirnoff or carrying around a bottle of josé cuervo. if you encounter this creature, take special care to keep your woman close by. the table goblin posses irresistible charm and just might take your girl back to his lair to lend her some goblin sauce.
known haunts: goodman’s bbq of perry, fl
holy sh-t! i’ve never had a table cleaned off so fast in my life!
or
did you see that?! that table goblin just squeezed through a 4 inch gap to get into the closet!
or
that d-mn table goblin just rode off with my girl!
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