take a real one


function: verb

1. to ‘take a real one’ is to have a bowel movement that is particularly forceful or emotionally necessary. the feelings that accompany ‘taking a real one’ are typically frustration, surprise, and/or anger. to ‘take a real one’ is to figuratively unload a pile of feces onto a situation which bears no other possible reaction. ‘taking a real one’ also implies that you can’t even mentally just imagine cr-pping on something, you are are so annoyed that it is literally forcing a big load of pants-pudding from your agitated lower intestine.
1. i can’t deal with this any more. i’m going to go take a real one.

2. oh for the love of pete! i just lost my entire thesis. thanks a lot microsoft word! this makes me want to take a real one.

3. for the entire movie, all i could think about was taking a real one.

4. i’d prefer to take a real one rather than stay at this bar for another second.

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