Team J.C

people that try to make christianity “cool” often refer to jesus christ as “j.c”. it’s an attempt to suck in as many kids and sinners as possible, owing to the fact that chavs and sk-nks have been naming their kids with just initials for the last 20 years. there is a handful of c.j’s, a.j’s, d.j’s, j.d’s and m.j’s in every community. the j seems to be the key letter here. and claiming that they’re on a “team” makes the possibility of hooliganism seem way more likely. obviously, the idea is that the idiots will all flock to those on “team j.c” thinking that they will be having an excellent time with a cool person if they join them.

what they do get is as much religious tea as they can drink, a few dry biscuits, people with soft and weak voices telling them that g-d loves them all and possible molestation and inappropriate behaviour from the vicar and/or choir master.

they tend to recruit in non confrontational ways, like going up to some kids in town and asking them if they’re having a good day, or on their way to a party before they give them a leaflet.

those in charge of “team j.c” can often be heard saying things like, “you know what, gang? it’s prayer time! come on, let’s give it up for the lord!” or even “paper chains are cool, now let’s attach them to this easter bonnet before the flour and water paste dries”

really, the j.c should stand for “just crazy”
“oh lordy, it’s team j.c, dead ahead”
“how do you know they’re on the team?”
“check it out, they’ve got b-mbags stuffed full of leaflets and evanessence t shirts on! plus, look at those crazy, vacant smiles…….they’re on the team! quickly, kids, run to the car!”