Temple U

t for temple uuuuuuniversity
fight fight fight for the cherry and the white
for the cherry and the white let’s fight!

you know you went to temple if…

1. you bought beer your freshman year at the stab-n-grab.
2. you can identify a crackhead a mile away.
3. you can’t understand why that 1 girl never wore shoes because you were always afraid you’d step on a needle or crack vial.
4. instead of freaking out about the mouse on your floor your freshman year, you gave it a lovable ghetto nickname.
5. you know that temple is the best college in philly area, but above all you hate snotty rich penn kids!
6. you know that the “temple students, they’re just smarter”
commercial is true in so many ways.
7. your marching band plays all the latest hip hop hits.
8. you know the mascot’s name is not “the temple owl,” but “hooter t. owl” and that there is also a junior mascot named “baby owl.”
9. you don’t know the words to the alma mater, but you know when to holla “hootie hoo!”
10. you know that you don’t stop at red lights when you’re driving in the hood.
11. you know all the homeless people on campus by name and recognize them when you see them in other parts of the city.
12. you actually know the city and use the subway, unlike most college kids in philly.
13. there was a shooting or stabbing on campus every year you attended temple.
14. you’re accustomed to reports of rappers running from the law p-ssing through your neighborhood (such as beanie sigel and odb, may he rest in peace).
15. even if you’re a white girl, you’ve learned to shake it (if you didn’t already know how).
16. you were on financial aid and had a work-study job and so did pratically everyone else you knew (other than your pot-dealing friends).
17. you know that if you parked your car on campus and left even a nickel visible, a crackhead would break in and steal it. likewise with a cd, but the perpetrator would be a pre-teen.
18. every cl-ss you took talked about 3 things: race, cl-ss, and gender.
19. yeah, the football team sucks, but that didn’t matter when we had john chaney coaching our basketball team!
20. the bell tower was not only a popular location for anti-abortion propaganda, but it was a good place to go to skip cl-ss, as well as the gr-ssy knoll by beury.
21. you wondered what the architect who designed beury was smoking when s/he designed the circles on the side of the building that reminded you of octopus tentacles…and most likely you were smoking when you thought they looked like tentacles.
22. you can’t understand why anyone would choose to go to penn state over temple.
23. you probably didn’t get into penn state and that’s why you went to temple.
24. you know that the j&h caf food is only 1 step above prison food and has a laxative effect.
25. you’ve been to docucare for course packets.
26. you can sleep through gun shots, no problem.
27. you’ve had cl-ss interrupted by the sound of power 99 blaring from someone’s car stereo parked outside curtis hall (if you remember curtis hall).
28. you’ve had cl-ss interrupted by a bird flying into the window of your curtis hall cl-ssroom.
29. you know the ghetto squirrels ain’t scared of nothin’.
30. you’ve heard conwell’s “acres of diamonds” speech referenced again and again.
31. you relish the horrified looks on the faces of the other
philadelphia big 5 teams’ basketball players when they come into north philly on their tour buses. you and the other owl fans make them more terrified by drunkenly mobbing the bus after the game.
32. when the u.s. vice-president is mentioned in conversation, you automatically think the person is talking about john chaney, not d-ck.
33. most importantly, you bleed cherry and white and know the meaning behind the letters “tumf!”
upenn kid: university city is so dangerous.

temple u kid: are you f-cking kidding me? i live in north philly.