Testament

the most underrated thrash band of the 80’s. any true metalhead knows how much -ss this band demolishes.

still rocking faces off to this day. long live testament.
testament – practice what you preach.
thrash metal band, aka thrash metal gods.
testament’s eighties stuff makes my neck sore.
the greatest thrash metal band to never get famous. holy sh-t they deserved it though.
formed in 1983 in the bay area, right as thrash was getting off the ground, testament (one of my favorite band names, too) finalized their lineup of chuck billy as singer alex skolnick on lead guitar, eric peterson on rhythm, greg christian on b-ss, and paul bostaph on drums.

testament released a demo in ’86, and then the legacy in 1987, which was actually really good, even though it didn’t hit mainstream because rock nowadays is for p-ss-es! god d-mn it, why don’t people like metal?! they actually have talent, and f-cking nickleback released the same f-cking song, over and over again, b-tching about love and all that bullsh-t, just renaming it constantly! f-ck popularity, testament should be in the big five of thrash! i’m aware there’s only four (metallica, megadeth, anthrax, slayer) but there should be five, god dammit!

ahem. excuse me. anyways, they followed up the legacy with the new order, which kind of got people noticing that these bad-sses are really f-cking good. in 1989 and 1990, they released practice what you preach and souls of black, two of my favorite alb-ms of theirs. pwyp moved away from the weird, black sabbathy lyrics and into the more political side of metal (hence the name and t-tle track). souls of black was a little less thrash metal, though they did find other ways to kick -ss on the alb-m, though once again, the t-tle track is awesome.

following souls of black, testament got screwed over by grunge, lost michael skolnick, did g-d knows what because michael skolnick left, and released a few cr-ppier alb-ms, trying to go more mainstream.

in 2001, chuck, one of the two guys of testament to actually play the entire time since its inception, was diagnosed with cancer, so all sh-t stopped, thank g-d. if they released another alb-m like first strike is deadly, i’d’ve sh-t a chicken and jumped off a bridge. and not necessarily in that order.

anyways, chuck’s fine, and good enough to record with… (gasp) alex skolnick? i thought you were in that trans-russia… something… anyways, they recorded the formation of d-mnation, my third favorite alb-m, and by far their best since the late 80’s.

testament is back, motherf-ckers! h-ll yeah!
f-cking poser who likes enter sandman, so therefore thinks metallica is the best sh-t since smack, and they work as alb-m reviewer in rolling stone: “enter sandman!!!”
actual metalhead who knows what the f-ck good music is:
“yeah, it’s ok.”
f-cking poser: “no it f-cking roolz! metallica! black alb-m!!!”
metalhead- “no, not really. it shows how much metallica doesn’t care about their music, and how greedy they are, because in the eighties, when n-body knew them, they just played for the h-ll of it, and released four of the greatest alb-ms ever to come out of the metal genre. but, then, in 1991, they decided to sell out, just to make a few more dollars, and release the black alb-m, which is a testament (yes, that was on purpose) to how they don’t care about their thrash fanbase, which has more heart in it than all the little p-ss-es like you who think they like metal but it’s really just sh-t.
testament didn’t sell out, they just tried to change their style following the departure of some of the greatest musicians the world has ever known. they don’t care about money, or fame, or anything. they play good music, and that’s all that matters.
f-cking poser: …
(f-cking poser’s head explodes from the amount of knowledge just inserted into his f-cktard little head).
almost as g-d-like as mister bob. all worship it’s leetness, especially those known as ‘exception’ and ‘the arwic mafia’. these filthy peons are not worthy of looking upon this elite being, lest they find themselves disposed of in a woodchipper.
testament’ cleaves madmaniac in twain!
sixth sense: 3 spells, major endurance, impenetrability v, acid bane v
character from kick-ss game guilty gear.dark magic and voodoo are his specialties.
testament could p-wn ky-s -ss