the chair of nails
a 15th century relaxation seat, used to force people to adhere to the churches teachings, by forcing 1 1/4 inch br-ss tacks across the entire back half of the body. the nails are sterilized after each use…with a hose. can nowadays be found on cruise ship decks, in luxury high rise apartments, discerning golf clubhouse lounges, and as seats in high end private jets owned by bankers/criminals. has mainly become a luxury item, affordable only by well to do yuppies, due to its ability to relax and revitalize in just under a fortnight.
the chair of nails is useful in many ways. the chair of nails cured me of my tuberculosis, and gave me horrific reoccuring nightmares. i reccomend the junior model, which can be used on children ages 3-12, with included restraints, and gravity feed bloodbucket. believe me your children will never forgive you if you fail to purchase one, and subsequently force them to use it.
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