The Derby
the one and only derby is held on a sat-rday in may, at the venerable churchill downs. there you will find the greatest collection of drunken colonels and wretched wh-r-s in the country. the day culminates with the running of the ponies! dreams are made, and hilljack ky college education funds dashed away.
colonel levine has made a habit of dawning his seersucker suit and heading down to “the derby” each and every year, to make sure dixie gets a shot at his buckeye tree
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