The down lowest


a term coined by correctional psychiatrists in chicago, il to describe the practice of middle-aged, closeted gay men of lower socioeconomic status (ses) who cruise local forest preserves, pausing to back their cars into parking sp-ces while listening to polish club music before generating powerful pheromones which are detectable by the desperate at a distance of 5km.
this behavior contrasts that of their uncloseted, high ses brethren who are only shamed by secret yearnings to wear a cardigan and their inability to travel comfortably in a domestic vehicle. these high ses anglers troll the waters of art gallery openings and liberal fundraising events with strict size/bag limits, though self-tanning fume intoxication and -ssociation with bands whose names end with “!” have been doc-mented as factors contributing to intermittent quality plunges in partner choice.
h: “dr. smith lost it all after they put that kiddie p-rn charge on him. they seized his -ssets, the trophy wife left, and now he’s driving a pinto.”

l: “is he in denial concerning his s-xual ident-ty?”

h: “naw, he just made the transition from the down low to the down lowest.”

l: “with that car, you should counsel him on the dangers of rear-end collisions.”

h: “you’re so concrete.”

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