The Gorilla


the gorilla is a mating technique developed by the drunk male. this strategy must be implemented from behind so that the female is completely unaware (otherwise known as the “sneak attack”). it involved a frankenstein-slash-zombie-like outreach of the arms over a female’s shoulders followed by a sloppy and uncoordinated death grip around her neck/chest/anything in reach. the male then proceeds to try and dance with the female. women who fall for the gorilla tactic either can’t think or are painfully unstable.
caleb: try the gorilla on that one over there. looks promising.
an invisible ent-ty, that, after a long night in a pub or a curry house, follows you home and while you’re sleeping chucks your clothes round the room and sh-ts in your mouth.
“i woke up the next morning with a foul taste in my mouth and my clothes everywhere. the gorilla had been.”
what you see when you are totally smoked out, usually indicating your limit.
wow man, i need to slow down, i’m definatly seeing the gorilla

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