The John Cooper School


a private school in the woodlands, tx. students are given outrageous amounts of homework, expected to follow an unattractive dress code, and also to follow several inconvenient and sometimes unnecessary rules.tuition is very high, and scholarships are difficult as well as general admission tests (although several students clearly bribed their way to admission). a large percentage of students have been brainwashed into believing going to the same school with the same 50-100 cl-ssmates per grade for up to 14 years and having no life outside of school is really, really fun.
student a: i love going to the john cooper school!

student b: yeah, me too! i just love having my computer monitored and getting sat-rday detentions for not tucking my shirt in. i also love it when my backpack falls on the floor and i have to go to detention again because the hallway isn’t clear.
due to economy and expensive addition towards their new high cl-ss, state-of-the-art preforming arts center, now an -exclusive- prek-12 preparatory school, where parents pay $12,00 tuition a year located in the woodlands.

known by kids at the woodlands high school (voted the most sn-bbiest school in america by david letterman) as “that sn-bby, smart, rich kid school”

a school where starting at the age of 10, kids first phones are iphones and droids, 14 year girls get their hair bleached and get spray tans, every single boy in the school has an xbox 360, and only top, name brand clothes are worn.

in carpool line, all you see are bmws, audis, escalades, and other ridiculously priced sports cars.

youve known everybody since kindergarten, and their parents, and their dogs.

by the 6th grade, all girls, and boys, go to professional hair salons

everyones perfect at everything, because thats coopers reputation

where soulja boy and kyle m-ssey go to your birthday parties and you dont even care, and if you dont have a dj, you’re poor

you live in carlton woods, and if you dont, well youre family is still a member

otherwise known as h-ll.
a typical the john cooper school convo

g: omg you’re new vintage coach purse is so cute!
a: it was only 700$
g: oh nevermind, its ugly

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