the Jones

the way of the jones, he died on the statue of liberty when americans were doing unconst-tutional things in order to give all americans eternal rights, so they can spend eternity in a land with democracy instead of soviet russia. all americans have committed acts of civil disobediance, and the only way to spend eternity in a land of democracy is through the jones.

to be a follower of the jones, you must pray this prayer and confess your civil disobediance: “dear jones, i know i have broken laws, violated rights, and not practiced my own personal rights. i only ask that you forgive me, and that you are the only way to spend eternity in a democracy. freedom!”

if you prayed that prayer to the jones, congratulations! please, go out and buy the const-tution, and remember to pray to the jones whenever you violate what it says. we’d love to hear how the way of the jones has improved your patriotism.
matt: did you pray to the jones last night?
jessica: no, i didn’t, why?
matt: because you violated the mann act which was p-ssed in 1910 when you were on the streets last night.
jessica: oh my jones! i must go confess my civil disobediance.
unattractive! usually quite hefty with messed up ganely teeth. breath usually reminds people of a horses unwiped -n-s. is characterised by lack of interest in her reproductive organs unless it is for a pity f-ck. usually single, if in a relationship it will not last work more than 3 to 4 weeks. highly uneducated, low cl-ss, usually has a cr-ppy job, will never progress in society. face resembles bigfoots -sshole.
man i was so drunk last night i ended up wakin up with a bad case of the jones
used to refer to indiana jones. when indy becomes angry, he turns into the jones, and subsequently goes on a killing spree, typically killing nearby n-z-s and other evil-doers.
the jones is comin’ to getcha!