The Master Splinter
similar to the word “fist” in that it is both verb and noun, “the master splinter” by definition is a maneuver that requires a thumb splint to be done properly.
to have done the master splinter properly, one must first cover the splint in hot melted margarine and then proceed to forcefully inject said thumb+splint into the rectal cavity of a man or woman. this should be done with a running start to gain optimal momentum so you can then, as the “splintee” persay dives away, carry him/her down a minimum seven yards of slip’n’slide.
the master splinter does hurt the “splinted” and “splintee” greatly as to one having a broken thumb and the other being so surprised. thus the requiring of the margarine.
gavin: “did you see the master splinter last night?”
todd: “what? we didn’t play turtles in time last night..”
gavin: “noo.. callum got his splinted thumb into someone and carried them all the way down our giant slip’n’slide!”
todd: “how’d he get that thing in there? there’s no way it could fit!”
gavin: “i think he used margarine..”
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