The Princess Zelda


a s-xual position/adventure best undertaken by three persons. one individual, preferably the hairiest of the three, hereafter referred to as “ganon”, must “kidnap” a second individual, hereafter “zelda”. the third individual, hereafter “link”, thus embarks upon a quest to “rescue” zelda.

the use of various “items” that can -ssist link in “rescuing” zelda or “stopping” ganon may add some intrigue. they should be erotic in nature and left about the “dungeon” so that link may utilize them to the best of his/her technical ability.

most importantly zelda is not allowed to aid link or hinder ganon in any fashion until the very end. the recommended code of conduct for zelda is to act as she does in many of the video games: do nothing, at all. ragdoll.

victory conditions:
at this point link would use whatever has been agreed upon as the “master sword” and he and zelda may “banish” ganon in whichever way he/she finds most appealing.

you may, in the course of roleplay, choose to discover that ganon isn’t such a bad guy. in this case the two may put aside their differences and work together to “rescue” the princess in the method that proves most effective.
“this weekend my girlfriend, her pilates instructor, and i were playing the princess zelda and he almost won until i pulled out my master sword and smote him.”

“i’m feeling a little kinky, would you boys like to play ‘mousetrap?'”
“nah, dan and i played that last week; he got the cheese. let’s play the princess zelda.”

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