The Virgins


the virgins are a band from manhattan, ny, consisting of donald c-mming (vocals), wade oates (guitar), and nick zarin-ackerman (b-ss). occasionally, the virgins enlist paul v-ssalo and kevin rice. the virgins formed in 2006 and have since released a self-t-tled ep (2007) and self-t-tled alb-m (june 2008). the virgins’ music has since appeared on television shows such as “dirty s-xy money” and “gossip girl”, which explains their somewhat meteoric rise in popularity amongst the ‘teeny bopper’ demographic. their song, “rich girls” made #68 on rolling stone’s 100 top songs of 2008.
teeny bopper: i love the virgins!!

dj: sweet, what’s your favorite song?

tb: rich girls! duhhh!

dj: do you know any of their other songs?

tb: what? well yeah… there’s umm… that other song…

dj: let me guess. you heard their music on gossip girl?
a s-x act involving penetration through a jelly donut.
i had to wash my cool penguin sheets after performing “the virgin” on her.
a s-x position when you stand there doing nothing, having imaginary s-x. hence the word virgin.
-girl stands up in the middle off cl-ss-
teacher: what the f-ckery are you doing?
girl: shhh.. i’m doing the virgin. ahhh.. feels nice.

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