TheDans

when one or more dan, daniel, dani, danny, danielle, etc. is combined to form the most beautiful creation known to man, they become thedans. they are then joined at the soul, and at the name. thedans is a delightful blend of kindness, courage, s-x appeal, intelligence, and straight up bad-ssness. there is no reversing this procedure. once you are thedans there is no going back, but why would you want to?
dan and dani used to be so different but now they’re thedans; they totally blow my mind.
the name given to 2437 ohio ave.: the center of the cincinnati/clifton universe circa 2001-2005.

if you went to the university of cincinnati around then, you’ve partied there.

if you’ve been found with your head stuck in the balcony railing puking your brains out, or thrown couches down onto the driveway at cars, you’ve partied there.

if you’ve p-ssed off of a 50 foot balcony next to another dude to see who can hit the cars below, you’ve partied there.

if you’ve gotten hammered and p-ssed in one of the bedrooms, you’ve partied there…h-ll, you may have even lived there.

if you’ve thrown your friend’s clothes down the stairs, then repeatedly kicked him in the ribcage, you’ve partied there.

if you’ve been drunk enough to sh-t on the bathroom carpet while bent over puking, you’ve partied there, and you were probably not sober.

if you’ve climbed out a sketchy 2′ x 3′ 3rd floor bedroom window, shimmied across a duct-taped downspout held up by a gutter above a dry-rotted balcony, just to drink on the 65 degree angle roof 60+ feet above the concrete below, then you’ve definitely partied there.

if you’ve made out with some of the ugliest chicks in cincinnati, sadly the chances are pretty good you were partying there.
“holy sh-t, did you hear that hammered mike p-ssed in dan’s bedroom closet last night?”
“at the dan’s?”
“yep. it turns out that he’d been drinking.”
“no sh-t?”
“yea, hence the nickname.”

“dude, james made out with like 4 random chicks at the dan’s last night.”
“isn’t that the same queer that sh-t on the bathroom floor?”
“indeed…what a douche.”