tissue pixies
1. the pixies that you hope will replenish the toilet paper when you’ve just used the last of it but are in too much of a hurry to replenish yourself.
2. the pixies that stole the last of the toilet tissue when you could swear there was at least half a roll 4 hours ago.
3. the pixies that laugh at you when you’ve just survived a spine chilling bout of diarrhea only to discover that the tissue pixies are not on your side today. the only thing within arm’s reach that you can wipe your -ss with is one last whispy sheet of toilet roll. the pixies leave this one sheet just to watch you attempt to use it.
“for chrissake pete! who do you think puts a new toilet roll out? the goddam tissue pixies?”
jack: “linda? can you come in here and p-ss me a new roll of toilet paper?”
linda: “i only put a new one out this morning. i swear the tissue pixies are back”
mike: “phew, i could have sh-t through the eye of a needle!… dammit! who the h-ll used the last of the tissue?”
pixies: “sn-gg-r”
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