Toe Off A Shotgun
by far the most traditional, time-honored, and respectable means of taking one’s pathetic, wretched, washed-up life, second only to seppuku, samuri suicide. the act entails a soon-to-be victim stealing a shotgun, placing the barrel vertically under his/her chin, and resting one’s big toe on the trigger. when the individual accepts that they’ve certainly endured one too many winters, a simple twitch of the toe will resolve all of their issues, petty or grand.
“aww shucks! nibbles be outta kibbles! best don gon don go an toe off a shotgun!”
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