Tool fan


avid listeners of the alternative metal band known as tool. tool fans believe that, by listening to music with no concept of time signatures and pseudo-cryptic lyrics sang by a man known as maynard ivory james keenan wayans, it puts them on a higher intellectual and musical plateau than fans of non-“prog” bands. you can pick a tool fan out of a crowd easily, by looking for a college student who speaks of issues which he has little to no understanding of, rants about conspiracy theories, is a half-hearted activist and constantly reeks of bong water. a tool fan, as a rule, will never look presentable, wearing yesterday’s hoodie and a baseball cap over his unwashed and sh-ggy hair.
you know jeff? that annoying kid who shows up 30 minutes late to cl-ss every day with serious redeye and voices his stance on everything from abortion to extraterrestrialism without being asked? i hear he’s a big tool fan. figures.

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