Tourist

an individual who takes part in certain activities or attends particular meetings because they are trendy or popular, usually without regard to whether or not such activities or the subject matter of such meetings interest or pertain to them at all.
marla singer is such a f-cking tourist for attending multiple affliction-specific support group therapy sessions when she doesn’t even have any of those diseases.
foreign visitors who come to see popular sites and attractions… but are often side-tracked by even simpler things… (a telephone pole, a school bus, a bird, a sandwich) signs of their attraction towards native features: accessive photographing, pointing of fingers
tourist guide: here we have an active volcano… it’s called killa wayyah…
tourist: umm excuse me!
tourist guide: yes ma’am?
tourist: what’s that thing you’re holding in your hand?
tourist guide: this? this is a sandwich, it would be my lunch
group of tourists: ooooooh! ahhhh…. (snapshots)
tourist: may i have a taste?
stupid -ssholes from outta town that take pictures of anything and everything and annoy the cr-p out of all the locals and will stand in the middle of the road, block traffic and almost get hit by a car to take a f-cking picture of a church!
btw, i live in alaska
tourist: what sea level are we at?
local: about two feet

tourist: what’s that big lake over there?
local: that would be the ocean

tourist: how do you say this word in alaskan?
local: i have no idea
tourist: don’t you speak alaskan or eskimo?
local: no, all the eskimos are extinct (walks away)

tourist: me and my family have been here all day and we haven’t seen any eskimos!!!
local: thats because all the eskimos and natives are nocturnal, they all come out at night and do their tlingit dances by the fireside. (sarcasm)
any individual who displays no regard or knowledge for the unwritten rules of a location or city. tourists in london, for example, frequently stand on the left hand side of escalators on the tube (a serious no-no), stand directly in front of the train doors with large rucksacks (again, you just don’t do this) and take photographs of them halfway out of a telephone box as though they were appearing in a broadway musical (does anyone do this anywhere at all?).
“what’s that? stand on the right? no, i think i like the left hand side better. who cares about those other jerks wanting to get by? i’m a tourist, they should wait.” – the primary cause of rioting on the london underground.
1. an annoying sort of people who vacation (invade) someone else’s living sp-ce. they are often found in tropical locations and travel in swarms. but the worst of the tourists plauge cape codders with their precence. as soon as june rolls around, the beaches are crowded and littered upon, the roads are filled with countless accidents because of the tourist’s legenday lack of driving capabilities, and local stores, like cuffy’s and wings, actually have customers! tourists are often able to be noticed by their appearant lack of fashion sence (often seen in socks&sandals, a common favorite, or better yet, a cheesey hawaiian t-shirt paired with baggy cargo shorts. the women prefer to have f-nny packs and visors attached to them, and often hold their young offspring on leashes.) most of the tourists on cape cod enjoy stopping at “interesting places” such as the sandwich gl-ss museum or many of the lighthouses that skatter the eroding sh-r-line. (like the locals haven’t grown bored of that the first time they were forced to appreciate them). also, they have habits for stopping at crowded restaurants or store, which are filled to the max with tourists of course, and ask how to get on ‘scenic’ route 6a, which often times, they are already driving on. they are recognizeable for their horrible speach (the word ‘wicked’ is not a part of their limited vocabulary) many of the locals enjoy scouting for the hot tourist, the few in millions, and often partake in cape codder’s favorite pastime: tourist tricking. with the locals help, the tourists may end up standed on a beach, in a rented car, or stuck in one of our many cranberry bogs. tourists are often the cause of the cape codders deepest summertime woes, from clogging the beaches, to clogging the streets, and clogging, well, basically everything. but when labor day rolls around, and all that is left are the footprints in the sand, and the cash registers full of cash, the locals are able to withstand the summers, in hopes to survive the tough vacant cape cod winters with the cash the tourists supplied them with in the summer.

in many ways, tourists are like cicadas. they come in swarms in the summertime, the locals hate them for eating everything and making it impossible to be outdoors without immediate frustration, but once their epic plunder is over, the locals reminise of the times they had smacking them around.
“its tourist season!”
“clear the beaches! the tourists are coming”

“route 6a? hmm… just take a left on this road…you say its a dirt road? well, thats okay, its my little shortcut!”

“thank god the tourists are gone. i couldn’t stand them walking around, digital cameras in hand, taking pictures of every rock, tree, lighthouse, and grain of sand on cape cod!”
a group of people n-body knows where comes from. tourists love warmth, fjords, bad music, and funny hats. tourists is people that much of the time is in another place than home. tourists are always where they’re not suppose to be.
see. tourist. run.
a person who’s not completely into what they are doing, or someone who does something just to be cool.
“jim’s coming boarding with us.”
“he can’t even stand up on a board, he’s such a f-cking tourist.”