turd embargo


depending on the context, a “t-rd embargo” is:

1) a total inability to defecate (i.e. sh-t) for an extended period of time, or under normal circ-mstances, because your body has decided to halt the manufacture and exportation of magic b-tt fudge. typically caused by diet, drugs, or existential angst. also known as “severe constipation”;

or

2) deliberate and systematic exclusion of a specific person from social gatherings because they are obnoxious, loud, creepy, or otherwise socially undesirable, i.e. a “t-rd”.
(example 1): “hey jackhole, there’s only 1 bathroom in this bar, and you’re holding it up. so take some d-mned ex-lax ; lift the t-rd embargo!”

(example 2): “dude, why didn’t you invite my brother to this party?!”

“because he literally f-cked my x-box at the last party, in front of everyone – no foreplay, no lube, not even a god-d-mn reacharound. it hasn’t worked right since then, so he’s under a permanent t-rd embargo.”

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