Twitch Monkey


a twitch monkey is a gamer who plays fps (first person shooters) consistently. their reflexes are so amped up from years of playing and m-ssive caffeinne intake (usually whilst playing) that they can rarely sit still for long periods of time and consistently figit.

positive upside:
– the twitch monkey’s muscle memory and reaction times often see him acting before his brain has even fully registered the threat and sent the signal to deal with it.

negative downsides:
– once they finish school they might become cops…
– typing long complicated words (anything longer than n00b or pwned) can be difficult for a twitch monkey.

the most recent research points to twitch monkey syndrome being an evolution of the 1980s “dj twitch finger syndrome”.
“the mri did not reveal any actual brain damage, your son is just a twitch monkey”.

“only a twitch monkey would call out owned during climax (the greatest twitch of all). i am so leaving you!”

“that’s the third keyboard you’ve bought this year. what are you, some kind of twitch monkey?”

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