two-total
describes someone who drinks a maximum of two alcoholic beverages in any one night.
this may be for religious, health or financial reasons but is often due to the fact they are a m-ssive self-confessed lightweight and the first sip of a third beverage would see them swinging naked from a chandelier or similar light fitting and nursing a horrendous hangover in the morning.
‘fancy another bro?’
‘no wayyy man, don’t you remember what happened last time?!’
‘oooo yeh that was nasty.’
‘def gonna roll two-total this weekend.’
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