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ultimate fighting championship
“ufc is becoming the most entertaining semi-sports of today.”
ultimate fighting championship

bunch of hard-nuts get into an octagon shaped cage and knock the living sh-t out of each other. elbows, knees to face, you name it.

no throat, eye or back of head strikes.

different to eg k-1 as ground-work and submission techniques are also used.

the best knockouts ever, and the most testosterone flying around.

most fighters come in cl-ssified as mma (mixed martial arts), although many are from jiu-jitsu.

argueably the future of full-contact fighting.

makes boxing look gay.
“hi, jeff? it’s bob. me and my boyfriend are going to go watch the boxing – wanna c-m?”

“no, f-ck off. i’m staying in with a few cans to watch the ufc, b-tch”
ufc is the ultimate form of fighting, but in order to really understand it you must take some necessary steps:

1. trane ufc by wearing lots of tap out and affliction tees, make sure to mean mug people while wearing such attire.

2. order insanely price ppvs and yell at the tv as soon as a fight hits the ground (preferred language involves the usage of the words c-nt, f-ggot, p-ssy & r-t-rded, this is how the cool kids speak so go crazy)

3. brock lesnar & dana white are the baddest men on the planet, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise and make sure to mean mug them if they do.

4. mma is for sissies, ufc is where it’s at (now go to the mirror and yell “as real as it gets baby”)

5. learn to love catchphrases such as “omg mike he is rocked” “and it is aalll ooover”.
decent person: excuse me sir, just what is this whole ufc fighting thing i keep hearing about?

dumb-ss: omg bro u dont know??? its like the most violent most awesome sh-t ther is like blood n sh-t and dana white is like dude you want some tickets i was like awesome yeah man!!!

decent person: right… stay off drugs young man.
ufc is the ultimate form of fighting, but in order to really understand it you must take some necessary steps:

1. trane ufc by wearing lots of tap out and affliction tees, make sure to mean mug people while wearing such attire.
2. order insanely price ppvs and yell at the tv as soon as a fight hits the ground (preferred language involves the usage of the words c-nt, f-ggot, p-ssy & r-t-rded, this is how the cool kids speak so go crazy)
3. brock lesnar & dana white are the baddest men on the planet, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise and make sure to mean mug them if they do.
4. mma is for sissies, ufc is where it’s at (now go to the mirror and yell “as real as it gets baby”)
5. learn to love catchphrases such as “omg mike he is rocked” “and it is aalll ooover”.
decent person: excuse me sir, just what is this whole ufc fighting thing i keep hearing about?

dumb-ss: omg bro u dont know??? its like the most violent most awesome sh-t ther is like blood n sh-t and dana white is like dude you want some tickets i was like awesome yeah man!!!

decent person: right… stay off drugs young man.
ultimate fighting championship
a popular league for mixed martial arts combat, sounds exiting but always ends up looking like one guy is raping the other.
guy – “hey buddy let’s watch ufc!”
buddy – “uhh no thanks guy i don’t swing that way.”
a mixed martial arts brand. a large number of ufc fans idiotically compare mma to wwe, saying wwe is ‘gay’ and ‘fake’. what they don’t realize is that while wwe fans enjoy watching raw & smackdown, unless they’re 9 years old, they don’t at any point think any of what they’re watching is real.

ufc fans that sit and laugh at wwe fans for watching a ‘fake’ sport are complete r-t-rds and need to learn that something doesn’t have to be ‘real’ for it to be entertaining.

they also need to learn that being thrown around a wrestling ring by a 350lb man for 15 minutes and not sustaining any kid of injury requires a lot more skill than getting in a ring and beating another man like a neanderthal.
idiot 1: “haha, dave is watching wwe.”
idiot 2: “omg really?! what a f-ckin’ p-ssy! lets go watch ufc, that’s not sh-t and fake!”
idiot 1: “yeah, totally dude. hey, did you see die hard 4?”
idiot 2: “h-lls yeah i did! bruice willis blew up a chopper with a car! it’s f-ckin’ sweet!”

ufc f-g: “hahaha wwe is f-ckin’ gay! how stupid do you have to be to watch that fake sh-t?!”
wwe fan: “what makes you say that?”
ufc f-g: “because they’re not even hurting each other! it’s f-ckin’ fake!”
wwe fan: “so, you’re not entertained unless you’re seeing another human being pummelled? and you call wwe fans idiots?”
ufc f-g: “no but they say it’s real don’t they. f-ckin’ posers, they couldn’t win a real fight!”
wwe fan: “did you see terminator 2?”
ufc f-g: “yeah. it;’s one of my favourite films.”
wwe fan: “well that’s not real, but you found that entertaining. the actors and actresses all pretended it was real and acted as if it was actually happening and you enjoyed that. what’s the difference?”
ufc f-g: “… shut the f-ck up you f-ckin’ wwe h-m-!”
1. (n) combat sport that poorly represents the discipline and cl-ss exemplified by martial arts. partic-p-nts and fans can be identified by their ridiculous tattoos, hyperbolic threats of impending violence and propensity to advertise how “dangerous” they are by means of their t-shirts. so trashy it makes your television stink.

2. (adj) a manner of behaviour adopted when looking to overcompensate for, and/or conceal, h-m-s-xual inclinations.
1. q: why are all these guys with tribal tattoos wearing t-shirts emblazoned with skulls and threatening to “kill each other to death” gathered at the convention center?

a: there’s a ufc fanfest in town.

q: are they fighters or fans?

a: both.

2.

jimmy: dude, that guy in the affliction t-shirt just threatened to put me in a rear-naked something or other, then get into a full mount and pound me? what the f-ck?

matt: don’t worry about it. i saw him leaving a bath house. he’s just acting ufc because his dad’s with him.

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