University of South Florida


the university of south florida (usf) is a public university located in tampa, florida. usf’s mascot is the bull, and its colors are green and gold. usf is the third largest university in the state of florida, behind the university of florida and florida state university. usf boasts highly acclaimed engineering and medical programs, and is a first-tier research university.
the university of south florida is a very well-rounded university that doesn’t get enough credit because of other state universities such as the university of florida and florida state university getting all the attention.
the premiere inst-tution of higher education in the state of florida, usf is home to the bulls. regarded as one of the top three flagship universities in florida by definition of state congress (the others being fsu and uf), no other school in the nation has obtained such accelerated acclaim in both the academic and athletic arena.

the bulls’ football program is relatively new. this, however, has not stopped the bulls from defeating the seminoles (fsu) and the hurricanes (um). due to the bulls’ accomplishments, they are often referred to as the fourth member of the “big three” in the state of florida.

unlike other schools that are often located in the middle of nowhere, usf is a metropolitan university. besides the amazing parties, students also enjoy ybor city’s clubs and bars, the busch gardens theme park, clearwater and st. petersburg’s world famous beaches, and shopping at the international plaza and downtown tampa.

unlike uf, usf prefers not to have bandwagon fans (people who wear a school’s gear without having any affiliation or relation to the school, such as they are not a student or have friends or family who go there). our gear is sacred and respected. we let the hicks and pretenders wear uf gear.
the university of south florida (usf) is what every potential student looks for in a school. all of its students engage in top-of-the-line research and earn degrees that are respected internationally. the school’s young age provides the opportunity for its students to take part of real history, instead of looking at hallways filled with old dead people’s portraits like they do at fsu and uf.
the university of south florida (usf) is quite unique. while it prides itself for its exceptional academic programs and medical research facilities, it also is notorious for accepting just about every 18 year old in the state of florida who got below 1000 on their sats. somehow, these students manage to graduate though, even with the distractions of nearby white sand beaches, gasparilla (an event that takes up the month of febuary which can be summed up by public intoxication and the performance of s-xual favors), and ybor city (a strip of clubs that the usf students control). usf has a growing football program with the bull as the mascot. although the football players are dedicated and got to attend there first bowl game, half of the football players must hold jobs during off season to pay child support.
nothing compares, the university of south florida is founded upon the principles of educating geniuses and r-t-rds in one cl-ssroom. throw in a few mardi gras beads, m-ss quant-ties of alcohol, and a bikini and you have the perfect picture of usf.
a third tier inst-tution in tampax, florida known for their ridiculously lax admissions standards. they are the third largest “university” in the state of florida behind uf and ucf. they recently experienced their best football season ever but even that won’t attract quality students, as they rank last in the state in number of merit scholars. they pride themselves on being the only commuter school in the country with a ranked football team. recently, administrators at the school announced they would not be able to construct housing for students because of the strong community support for the existing p-wn shops and liquor stores that surround the campus. the current money mismanagement crisis at the school has caused students to question the number of luxurious pieces of furniture in the president’s office, which include a miniature model of an on-campus football stadium with a plaque reading “someday…” attached.
ray ray: “dude! did you get into the tulsa welding school?”
tay tay: “nah man. they too selectionative.!”
ray ray: “oh man. that’s straight up whack!”
tay tay: “it’s ok. i just got a football scholarship to the university of south florida.”

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