Upper Saddle River

this is one of the richest towns in one of the richest counties in america. it is home to mostly “new money” people. the old money is hard to come by, but it’s easy to tell. kids from old money parents will never brag about anything. there are probably about 10 of them in the entire town. the rest are all sl-tty j-ps with big t-ts, but most of them are silicone. but don’t squeeze them or she’ll have daddy sue you for all you’ve got, and then buy her a new nose with it. all the girls here have at least one coach, gucci, db, or prada bag for every day of the week. guys, your favorite store should be j crew and if you don’t own at least ten things that say northface on it, you will never get a girl. if your family doesn’t have more cars than drivers, a pool, an in home movie theater, or at least 3 other properties across the world, you’re poor. get out before everyone finds out and talks sh-t about you, but they probably do anyway. this town is full of daddies who work in nyc “the city” and mommies who stay at home buying manolo shoes for their b-tchy daughters all day. it breeds some of the smartest kids in the state even though they just text each other on their new razr cell phones during cl-ss all day. this town makes the northern highlands parking lot glitter, where the students have better cars than the teachers. if daddy didn’t buy you a lexus, bmw, or audi, he probably doesn’t love you. take all the money in your trust fund and buy a new daddy! unless of course he pimped out some other ride for you like a land rover, high end jeep, or hummer equipped with gps and chrome all over the place. if you crash your car, you’ll probably get a more expensive one tomorrow. when you meet someone from this town, they will immediately tell you how great they are because they have sooo much stuff and their parents are sooo rich. if they don’t brag to you about everything in the first 10 seconds, they are probably old money and actually have some cl-ss, that’s a package deal right there. this town is full of j-ppy b-tches and wiggas. what a great place to live!
cop: you were going 50mph over the speed limit, that’s a $300 fine

usr kid: ughhh!! whaaaat! ummm well it’s ok, i’m from upper saddle river, wait can daddy put that on his amex?
rich -ss town in bergen county. home of the spoiled rich kids who get everything they want, not from working for it, but just from the cash pouring out of their new york city working fathers. styles range from, “ghetto”, emo, prep, j-ppy, etc. clothes consist of juicy everything, lacoste, hollister, a&f, pac sun, band tees from hot topic, and pretty much a lot of designer cr-p. every kid has atleast one coach bag or something of the type like douneyandburke, louie vuitton, chanel, dior, etc. pretty much the most amazing town in the world. where the best parties are thrown. underage drinking is the highlight of every weekend. there are a lot of sl-ts here but there all amazing and sweet and gorgeous so dont mess with them. we’re willing to fight anyone who stereotypes us.. even though most of them are true dont do it.. not cool. we hate to be judged but whatever we love the attention. when you talk about us it doesnt upset us like u may think it does, its actually quite amusing because we know your just jealous. driveways and garages here consist of mercedes, bmws, audis, range rovers, ferraris, corvettes, jeeps, etc.

gotta love usr! represent!
random outoftownie 1: “omg upper saddle river girls are so sl-tty and spoiled”
random outoftownie 2: oh come on u know everyone from our town is just jealous
random outoftownie 1: yea thats true, i wish i was rich enough to live there.
this is one of the richest towns in one of the richest counties in america. it is home to mostly “new money” people. the old money is hard to come by, but it’s easy to tell. kids from old money parents will never brag about anything. there are probably about 10 of them in the entire town. the rest are all sl-tty j-ps with big t-ts, but most of them are silicone. but don’t squeeze them or she’ll have daddy sue you for all you’ve got, and then buy her a new nose with it. all the girls here have at least one coach, gucci, db, or prada bag for every day of the week. guys, your favorite store should be j crew and if you don’t own at least ten things that say northface on it, you will never get a girl. if your family doesn’t have more cars than drivers, a pool, an in home movie theater, or at least 3 other properties across the world, you’re poor. get out before everyone finds out and talks sh-t about you, but they probably do anyway. this town is full of daddies who work in nyc “the city” and mommies who stay at home buying manolo shoes for their b-tchy daughters all day. it breeds some of the smartest kids in the state even though they just text each other on their new razr cell phones during cl-ss all day. this town makes the northern highlands parking lot glitter, where the students have better cars than the teachers. if daddy didn’t buy you a lexus, bmw, or audi, he probably doesn’t love you. take all the money in your trust fund and buy a new daddy! unless of course he pimped out some other ride for you like a land rover, high end jeep, or hummer equipped with gps and chrome all over the place. if you crash your car, you’ll probably get a more expensive one tomorrow. when you meet someone from this town, they will immediately tell you how great they are because they have sooo much stuff and their parents are sooo rich. if they don’t brag to you about everything in the first 10 seconds, they are probably old money and actually have some cl-ss, that’s a package deal right there. this town is full of j-ppy b-tches and wiggas. what a great place to live!
cop: you were going 50mph over the speed limit, that’s a $300 fine

usr kid: ughhh!! whaaaat! ummm well it’s ok, i’m from upper saddle river, wait can daddy put that on his amex?