urkel glasses


gl-sses defined as having at a minimum 1″ thick gl-ss, large dimension lenses treated with duralumin, which is accompanied by eyegl-ss cord made from leftover weave

eyegl-sses that fit the description but are not coated in duralumin do not qualify as “urkel gl-sses” as they will not reflect any s-m-n back at the original shooter

“urkel gl-sses” were originally designed to protect oneself from a being shot in the eyes with s-m-n. many people prior to 1989 needed to have their eyes removed after many an unplanned ejaculatory mess.

to date, 3,742,635,864 eyes have been saved by “urkel gl-sses”
jim – “let me know when you’re gonna blow your load”
lou – “…ok…here i come”
jim – “wait, i need my urkel gl-sses!!!!”
lou – “there’s no time for that!”
jim – “owww my eyes!!!”
lou – “oh well, guess you should have put on your urkel gl-sses”

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