Vagina cartwheels
an elaborate s-xual maneuver involving weeks of preparation and a large initial cost investment (should be avoided by all but the most committed and enthusiastic individuals). supplies needed: octopus, gym membership, a fun-loving and adventure-seeking spirit, more lube than you’ve ever used in your life, an on-site surgeon (in case of disaster) and grimm’s book of fairy tales.
instructions:
1) become extremely fit as a member of your local gym or community center.
2) purchase a salt water tank and octopus– preferably a caribbean reef octopus for its lovely indigo hue, but the common octopus vulgaris will do.
3) -animal cruelty involved in the following step- de-tentacle the octopus, and desert the body in the appropriate biohazard container of your choice. preserve the tentacles in your salt water tank.
4) read your partner, in the accent of your choice, the most f-cked-up of grimm’s fairy tales. excellent choices include little red riding hood and hansel & gretel.
4) for every murmur of horror they admit, slap your partner’s genitalia with the tentacles.
5) repeat until the fairy tales are complete or the tentacles no longer have any live neurons and cannot move on their own.
6) afterwards, do cartwheels to air out one’s v-g-n-! the v-g-n- cartwheel is not complete without this process.
this s-xual maneuver is illegal in the continental united states and puerto rico.
satisfaction guaranteed-
(post-traumatic stress disorder a distinct possibility)
“my, what large teeth you have!” -gasp of horror- -slapping noise-
“hey, i hear henry f. is super-into v-g-n- cartwheels!”
1 more definition
just another word for “f-cking around.” usually used for fooling around, at work, with people, etc.
hey craig! stop with the v-g-n- cartwheels and get back to work!
Read Also:
- VAGINA DINER
the triangle shaped resturaunt where men and occasionaly woman go to dine on some of the best hair pie and vaginer melt sandwichs usually open twenty four seven,located in the valley between the female legs, north of the cucca cave. ross was excited to find out that his female boss also enjoyed chowing at the […]
- Vaginal Hutchinson's Disease
the disease that comes over males when they dont grow a pair t-st-cl-s to flirt with the one woman they like. the male v-g-n-(-see below) quickly gets infected and the disease quickly spreads to the brain giving the mind -ssets of a “v-g-n- decliner.” (-)the male v-g-n- forms when the male who once was thought […]
- Vaginal Overbite
when a woman has one v-g-n-l lip (l-b–) that is significantly larger than the other. much like a buck toothed person; except vertical and with the l-b– holy cr-p, i was with this girl from the bar and she had the biggest v-g-n-l overbite.
- Vaginasips
when your biceps are so defined and amazing that all the girls let you sip out of their genitals “if you have the biceps, you can get the v-g-n-sips!”
- vagina-mom
a woman in a lesbian relationship who is the actual birth-mother of the couple’s child. woman #1: “bye sweetie!” child: “bye mom!” woman #2: “bye honey!” child: “bye mom!” bystander #1: “wait, who was the second woman?!” bystander #2: “the kid’s v-g-n–mom.”