vampire cold


symptoms of a common cold-type illness that seemingly disappear during the daylight hours, especially after waking, but then reappear in the evening, closer to sleep. usually accompanied by a great deal of congestion and out right coughing.
patient: “yeah, i thought i had this thing kicked by noon, but noo, once the simpsons were over, i was back to coughing up lung b-tter and suckin’ down the halls.”

physician: “possibly cancer but more likely a vampire cold.”

Read Also:

  • Vampire Lunchtime

    the act of c-nn-l-ng-s on a female undergoing menstruation. -“wanna do it?” -“sorry, i’m on my period…” -“vampire lunchtime!”

  • Vampire Meeting

    when all your energy/lifeblood gets ruthlessly sucked out during a meeting with colleagues who (a) excessively repeat themselves, (b) are long talkers or (c) interrupt and/or talk over you and others. “today i was forced to buy a triple mocha to restore my lifeblood after a vampire meeting.”

  • vandruff

    dandruff that is located around the pubis mondis. (v-g-n-l dandruff = vandruff). not to be confused with crabs or crusty s-m-n. often found on prost-tutes and ghetto hoes with poor v-g-n-l hygiene. shanikwa: “girl, you got crabs?” lefonda: “no, i got vandruff”

  • vanilla mouthwash

    i made this one up, and i like it. a vanilla mouthwash is a big hot load of c-m, delivered into the recipients mouth with the expectation that they gargle on it. bonus points for not gagging. “gary said that we had to leave the bar urgently, so we walked into a nearby park. next […]

  • vaguetweeting

    an emo/ranty/snarky/”blind” tweet that does not mention a specific person or event, doing nothing more than garner attention because people can’t help but be paranoid and wonder if it refers to them. similar to vaguebooking. @bob: your version of the “truth” is unbelievably ridiculous, dude. everyone else: looks like @bob’s vaguetweeting again…


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