vauxhall nova


preferred ned(aka chav)mode of transport, vauxhall nova’s can typically be seen pointlessly wasting fuel in the city and town centres of our country as well as many of our nation’s country parks(see strathycruise.com).

these vehicles are very rarely seen in their original factory configuration, many having been purchased by neds/chavs, who have a strong desire to own hard looking sports cars that will impress 12 year old nedettes/chavettes that they are looking to pursue s-xual relations with.

typically a vauxhall nova will have been retrofitted with many after market modifications which include, noise polluting large bore exhausts which typically double as shelters for tramps, pointless bonnet air scoop(no intercooling mechanism or forced induction turbo charging system that would require such a scoop is fitted), a “spoiled” spoiler similar in scale to the average wing of a boeing 747 aircraft is fitted to the rear, a gaudy body kit, neon lights on the windscreen washers and under the car, and a stereo system with a sub-woofer that requires so much power that it typically overloads the car’s electrical system, similar sound systems can be found in stadiums or shopping malls also most nova’s are fitted with alloy wheels so large that it gives the car the appearance of a monster truck.

nova’s are also found with a large amount of rust on all body panels and sills, some neds/chavs will attempt to rectify this situation, by applying large amounts of filler paste to the affected area’s giving the car an uneven and b-mpy appearance, in some cases the repair of rust will trigger the painting of the car in a hideous vomit inducing hue.

vauxhall nova’s of this type will have the standard 1.2 or 1.4 vauxhall engine, and will often attempt to race other vehicles with a significantly more powerful engines, this will typically end in humilation for the ned/chav driving the vehicle and can greatly reduce his change of s-xual intercourse with the 12 year old nedette/chavette that is often found in these vehicles as an after market modification.

examples of this type of vauxhall nova can be found adourning the pages of max power magazine each month.

nova’s in their original factory configuration are typically smoky old rust buckets owned by irritating old pensioners who just should’nt be driving.
“how do you fit 6 neds in a vauxhall nova???”
the ultimate gadey car. fopr neds
look at ma nova pal(in a ned voice)

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