virgin in practice

a person who has never had s-x of any kind, but has done research to best prepare him/herself for what they may come across when they do get a chance to f-ck. examples of research include, but are not limited to: reading articles about methods of stimulation*, researching the anatomy of your gender preference, watching p-rn**, talking to people well versed in the field of having s-x, researching stds and condoms, and checking your own std status.

*if an article doesn’t reference anyone or include something to the affect of “everyone is different, so get to know your partner,” take it with a grain of salt.

**p-rn is often unrealistic. take everything you see with a grain of salt. p-rn can make a nice accompaniment to other forms of research, but just watching p-rn by itself is not considered research.
guy 1: wait a minute, adam’s a virgin?
guy 2: yeah. i thought you knew.
guy 1: well the way he talks about s-x, you’d think he does it all the time.
guy 2: ok, technically he’s a virgin in practice.

gf: so you’re a virgin?
bf: only in practice, darling.
gf: what does that mean?
bf: it means while i’ve never ventured into the bush with my staff in hand, i’ve read enough to know what to expect when i venture south of the border.