vocabolisher

one who shortens and/or alters words in conversational mode, not so much out of laziness, but moreso to feel cool and to stand out from the crowd. the most popular vocabolishing method is shortening words to one syllable, often times adding an “s” to the end of the new word. however, in rare cases, sometimes a syllable is added to a word in order to make it sound more trendy. unbeknownst to these “hip” vocabolishers, everyone around them is usually severely annoyed and wishes that they would just finish out the syllables or just hush up. this method is most widely practiced in the western portion of the united states but is slowly taking over the lips of youth everywhere.
some examples of vocabolisher usage are as follows: possible = poss, definitely = def, deodorant = deodes, h-ll = h-lla, maybe = mabes, water = wats, guatemala = guats, whatever happens = whatever haps, empire state building = emps (yes, it has been known to go this far)
i broke up with my last boyfriend because he was one of those vocabolisher people who couldn’t finish what he started, and i’m not only talking about words.