Volgons
the volgons are probably the single most unpleasant race of the universe. they are green and slobby, and entirely dreadful. their poetry is the third worst in the universe, and by no accounts should you ever let it be read to you, especially by a vogon himself. in one instance of a volgon poetry recital, several people died from internal hemorrhaging and one man only managed survival by gnawing off his own leg. the only thing they ever did for the universe was get rather fat and rich and cause people to have to fill out quite a lot of paperwork, not to mention destroying earth precisely five minutes before the question was to be figured out. their own planet was so disgusted with them that from that day forward it only created the most beautiful and graceful of creatures, such as the diamond-encrusted crabs which the volgons had quite a tomfoolery of smashing and consuming, even well after they left their home planet to pursue economics.
human: “my ears are bleeding!”
hooloovoo: “you should never have allowed those volgons to read you poetry!”
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