Vuenos Virus


“vuenos virus” is a name that has been given to a recent combinate strain (strains a + f) of human rhinovirus, of the crombifitchidae family, that broke out in tokyo, j-pan during the first week of may, 2010. origins are said to be a dance club with an alarming lack of cute girls located in the slums of shibuya ward.

a total of 17 taxonomic proposals have been made locally (originally in shibuya ward but more recently ginza district) regarding the “vuenos virus” as of june 02, 2010.

unique properties of the most recent “vuenos virus” strain would include an unusually long single-stranded positive rna genome of 12.6 kb in length, about 25% longer than other strains. it is considered a possibility that certain airborne chemicals such as cologne may have triggered a fierce mutation.

symptoms include but are not limited to: persistent coughing, runny nose, an excessive tan, color contacts, body aches, tight shirts and bright-green profile images. these symptoms may last as long as a month as most medications prescribed by doctors will have no effect. survival rate is estimated to be 42%.

methods of transmission are standard. aerosols, direct contact as well as consumption of contaminated skittles.
a 20-year-old student died while working part-time in ginza after repeated visits to doctors and several courses of anti-biotics failed to cure her of the deadly vuenos virus.

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