Wanking machine

a device used to auto-m-st-rb-t- an individual to climax. a combination of the words w-nking – to m-st-rb-t-, and machine – an automated device.

usually describing a device for male use, w-nking machines have been in use since the late second century bc. archimedes} is thought to have designed a water-powered machine which he used to pleasure himself. later examples have been found in medieval arabia, where suliman the magnificent ownde one of the first horse-powered devices on record.

with the coming of the industrial revolution] the w-nking machine became a far more powerful contraption. stevenson designed a steam-powered device that could auto-m-st-rb-t- several gentlemen at one time. emily pankurst struck a blow for womens rights when she had the first electric d-ld- installed in her home. sir arthur conan doyle was involved in a near disaster when the great w-nking machine at kew gardens exploded and killed several users and injuring many bystanders. in modern times w-nking machines have become smaller and more reliable, making use of advanced electronics to control rythym, pace, roll and grip.
would you like to come round to my house next sat-rday and try out my new w-nking machine? it has 3 speed settings and an auto-wipe facility!