western-phantom


an unorthodox grip in manual penile stimulation made popular by star trek, anime and perl fanboys in the early, late 20th century (’88-’92). the procedure is somewhat technical and involves depriving the user’s weak hand of blood to the point that it becomes numb. the user then positions the effectively dead, or “strange” hand about the p-n-s in such a fashion that the thumb and index finger of said hand are closest to the pubicle sack with respect to the glans. the “strange” hand is moved reciprocally toward and away from the glans until it stings with the tang of reperfusion or the female-borg-picture becomes sticky somehow.
“after i banged out that packet streamlining protocol on my p815 with shadow-masking, i totally got a handy from this chick at the final fantasy convention…her name was western-phantom. i promised myself i wouldn’t cry…”

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