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though located in new jersey, this seemingly affluent town boasts its suburbian relation to nyc. the children of this town are enveloped in the drive to success that severely plagues this town, therefore increasing the alloted number of -ssholes per square mile to well beyond the national average. the past superiority of this town’s sports program is the crutch on which we stand on, and this idea of furthering old reputations is the axis by which this cr-p vortex spins.
mom 1: so i just signed up tommy for sat cl-sses
mom 2: well gosh luanne, you’re cutting it kind of close there.

-tommy is three.
nestled in the heart of union county, westfield (commonly referred to as “the field” or “the 07090” by locals) is only twenty-two miles from the city (nyc). because of westfield’s close proximity–only a train ride away on the new jersey transit–westfield is an affluent, upper middle cl-ss town. next to summit, westfield is the wealthiest town in the county with a median household income in the six figures. with this statistic it is no surprise that bmw’s, audi’s, and mercedes are popular modes of transportation. however, it is important to keep in mind a majority of the cars that line the streets are not autobahn inspired machines. once a while a bentley, ferrari, maserati, or aston martin can be seen driving down east broad street. similar to most town’s in which there are train tracks, westfield is separated into two sides by the raritan valley line of new jersey transit: the north side and the south side. the north side is stereotyped by large sprawling houses, such as those on kimball circle and up lawrence avenues, however not every house has a four car garage, a land rover, and a pool. the south side is characterized as the “poor” side, which only makes sense to the slightest degree. the houses are smaller, but the south side does have many nice sections, and should by no means be regarded as poor

westfield is most notably known for its downtown. there has been a lot of change over the past several years as rising rents have ran many “mom and pop” shops out of business causing mall stores to open. in recent years, the downtown has become an outdoor “branch” of the short hills mall with stores such as black white, banana republic, gap, lord and taylor and williams sonoma.

westfield takes pride in their sports teams and school system. similar to a previously mentioned post, westfield does pride itself some of its past sporting history, especially with football and baseball. however, in recent years, westfield has been making comebacks in these two sports. because all westfielders are forced to play soccer or lacrosse while in their mother’s fetus, it is no surprise soccer and lacrosse are westfield’s most proudest sports teams, despite some lackl-ster performances over the past year. although the westfield outdoor tennis club (called “the outdoor” by westfielders) has a waiting list for adults, many parents register their children for the junior development program as soon as their child is physically capable to pick up a felt, yellow ball. this early intervention has served as the basis for westfield continued success in tennis. westfield is also very good in golf, as there are two private golf courses and 3 public golf courses within five miles. but westfield is truly a powerhouse in swimming. similar to the pre-natal preparation regarding soccer, lax, and tennis, many parents feel the need to join memorial pool, or for those who want to brag about their cabanas, nomahegan, prior to the child’s birth.

westfield high school is regarded as a top high school in the state. although the town may argue this is because of the challenging course curriculum, the school system’s success is most likely a result of the pressure put on by parents. many children get sat tutors before the student enters middle school. because of this westfield high school students have a work hard, party harder philosophy on life. students will spend hours during the school week helping out the community, partic-p-ting in clubs and sports of all kinds, and school work. however, on the weekends, students like to let loose. however many of the parties in westfield are invite-only, so if you’re not personally invited by the party thrower, you may have trouble getting in. many students realize by the time they reach college, they can outdrink, and outruit (yes, in the the field “beer pong,” as you may say, is called ruit) their roommates and colleagues. because westfield police can be nasty and outright d-cks, many westfielders are able to handle themselves in the presence of public safety officers while completely intoxicated. after a long night of partying, bagel chateau, diner or hershey’s are popular destinations to cure one’s hangover. if one were to walk down the halls of the high school, many students would be sporting lacoste and ralph lauren polos, limited edition jordans or air force ones, and north face jackets and backpacks.

all in all, westfield is the sh-t. despite the town’s rich reputation, the kids are not ostentatious unlike other wealthy towns and are down to earth and know how to have a good time.
(back from college)

mary: so glad to back in westfield. can’t wait to throw it down and get a ruit tourney
matt: yeah, what would break be in the field without a lil ruit. my house is open tonight.

(later that day)

james: yo,i heard you were throwin it down.
matt: yeah, man, but no can do bud. invite only

(next day)
matt: i’m so hungover
mary: yeah, i need a taylor ham egg and cheese or trinidad asap
a working cl-ss town in western m-ss near springfield where there’s nothing but liquor stores, dive bars, empty store fronts, chinese food, pizza, and way too many stupid baldheaded -sshole cops with nothing better to do than give you sh-t.
guy 1: yo, i’m goin to westfield to see my buddy and get f-cked up
guy 2: nice, watch out for all those westfield cops man!
a town full of rich white wiggers. i know some kids from westfield trying to act ghetto and listen to rap, and one of them carry cigarettes to act cool..
wigger: “i’m so gangsta!”
person from newark: “oh really? where are you from?”
wigger: “westfield”
person from newark: “hahaha! just shut up, u ain’t gangsta”
where all the rich and snotty people live also see obnoxious and mean
los angeles is like westfield…there is nice houses and rich people that are mean
collective noun for a group of bogans (australian). it is derived from the sprawling suburban shopping centres in the outer suburbs of australian cities that are predominantly owned by the chain westfield. most popularly satirised in kath and kim by the westfield fountain gate shopping centre.

westfield.com.au/fountaingate
i went down to the tab this morning and there was a whole westfield of bogans there in flannies
the name of several towns in the usa in this case about the one in nj. an upper cl-ss town made fun of by people who have no idea what living there is like and angry that they can’t live there, or just angry at rich people for no reason. note not all, but many people in this town are extremely sn-bby most others are charitable is. 70% sn-bby 20% charitable 10% normal. see wikipedia for more detailed info
westfield is a normal rich town and yes i live there.

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