Wet Dylan


first conceived by the renaissance painter and philanthropist dylan l’goulange, a wet dylan begins when someone eats a large, predominately corn-filled burrito. after consuming the burrito, the “dylan” must approach an elderly stranger on the street, preferably one with disabilities. after convincing the stranger to lay on their back by promising them free hard candy, the dylan must insert a funnel into the victims mouth. the -ssailant should then tear a hole in the back of their pants and sit on the funnel, whilst screaming “wu tang clan” aint nuthin to f-ck wit”, and begin releasing explosive diarrhea into the victims mouth. the elderly victim must then be helped to their feet and promptly punched in the stomach until they release the diarrhea.

the victim should then be invited to applebees© for a reasonably priced meal, and then d-ckslapped by a group of homeless men drinking mad dog 20/20 electric melon flavor.
guy: “did you hear what happened to scott’s grandma?”
other guy: “no, but i heard she went to applebees the other day, so she can’t be doing that bad.”
guy: “she got wet dylaned man, the applebees part was just so she could get d-ckslapped by a bunch of homeless guys.”
other guy: “at least she got an affordably priced, fresh and delicious meal out of it.”
guy: “are you f-cking serious? she got diarrhea raped and d-ckslapped by a bunch of homeless guys.”
other guy: “yeah but, applebees has such wonderful appetizers and their burgers are delicious.”

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