whale hook
the opposite of the fish hook and is performed after harpooning a whale. this usually involves the consumption of excessive amounts of alcohol and hoping that no one actually saw the whale you brought home that night. when getting head from a fat chick while she’s in front of you on all fours, you reach over her back and hook your finger in her -ss and pull. this can be both degrading and painful. this is not something to be performed by an amateur as it’s a complex maneuver considering how fat the whale is. if timed correctly, it can serve a dual purpose by forcing the whale to swallow your entire load of stoo. performed properly, your meat is deep down her throat so she is in essence “hooked” at both ends and can’t move and must take it all down while gagging. performing the whale hook may also ensure you’ll never have to worry about the whale calling you up one night and asking if you want to go on a date.
jeff: holy cr-p dude, that was one h-lluva whale you landed last night. did you end up giving her the whale hook ?
me: i don’t know what you mean, i was serving your sister some stoo last night.
the act of forming a cup with your hand and sneaking up behind someone you hate and in one swift motion reach between their legs and grab their b-lls pulling them as hard as possible into the pelvis rendering them helpless.
it was a very bad day indeed when the vicious whale hooking accident left mr. foster unable to ever reproduce.
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