white marmalade
collect up all your s-m-n in a jar. over time it’ll turn a thick copious white. after sealing the jar and attaching a nice ribbon around it, mail it to the girl you’ve been stalking for the past several months. then revel in the imagination of her biting down upon a piece of toast smeared with your love.
i received some white marmalade through my mail yesterday and it tasted awful. that guy needs more protein in his diet.
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