who’s your new friend


something your mom (usually) asks you, usually right in front of ‘your new friend’ when it’s d-mn clear who it is and what your interest in them is. it’s the earliest known example of a parental c-ckblock/tw-t swat, since nine out of ten times, it forces you to deny that the relationship extends beyond being simply platonic in nature.
-i pull up to my parents driveway with a really attractive and awesome girl, and watch in horror as my mom is out front gardening-

mom: who’s your new friend
max: oh, this is just brie…we’re just friends, mom.
brie: da fuq mane
mom: -snicker- that’s all i said..’friend’.
max: ffffffuuuuu

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