Winter wife


an unwitting “f-ck-buddy” (or fbwb). the boy does not want the girl to seek companionship elsewhere, whereas he remains free to enjoy one-night stands. the boy will allow his girl to stay overnight, but not permanently, as this hinders his ability to bring other females home. the qualities that make someone the perfect winter wife may persuade the male to keep stringing them along. trust is eroded as the length of absence and list of excuses to not move-in together grows longer, and the girl becomes wise to the deceit.
matt: so you and debbie getting serious then?
keith: no! haha. she’s just my winter wife. i doubt we’ll be together much longer.
a female who unwittingly enters into a part-time relationship during the coldest season of the year, as drinking establishments close early and opportunities for casual s-x become less available yet prohibitively more expensive, merely to satisfy someone’s basic needs. the most contemptuous type of relationship in which a boy whispers sweet-nothings into a girls ear before disappearing for several days without explanation, bringing gifts, slowly objectifying her, treating her as a human condom, eventually terminating the affair when the weather improves or when he has found a suitable replacement.
distinctive pattern of a winter wife:

– (autumn equinox)
– boy snares girl
– boy invites girl to residence for s-x
– (moment of climax)
– boy turns on sports channel
– girl gets bored and goes home
– boy smiles
– (spring equinox)
– boy ends relationship, goes nightclubbing
a girl who is strung along by a boy during the wintertime purely for s-xual gratification, only to be dumped in the summertime when the going is easy. if the girl falls in love too soon, is high-maintenance, or pleads to spend more time with her boyfriend than he is willing to offer, the relationship may end abruptly, shortly before xmas or valentines day. but if the girl finds conditions to be congenial and bites her tongue, the relationship will run early- to mid-summer, at which point she is discarded so her “boyfriend” can go on the holiday he secretly booked solely for himself when they were still together.
dylan: you’re the perfect winter wife
kristine: what did you just call me?
dylan: oops! i meant, we will always be together
kristine: promise?
dylan: yeah sure :p
a girl one attempts to begin a relationship with in late fall-early december to last until the weather improves and girls start going out again. the winter wife allows a young male to secure companionship during a relatively barren period in the dating market.

generally, the male does not intend to make the winter wife a long-term girlfriend, and so the characteristics he prizes are slightly different. a slight decrease in physical beauty or intelligence will be overlooked if the girl is low maintenance, unlikely to take a breakup badly, and lives relatively close to his home (one does not want to have to pay for dates or incur expenses traveling to hook up with the winter wife). as the weather improves, the winter wife becomes more disposable, and a break-up becomes more likely, although the qualities that make her an ideal winter wife may cause the male to reconsider and continue dating her.
dave: so are you and emily serious? you hang out with her a lot.
mike: nah, she’s just my winter wife. i’ll probably dump her before valentine’s day, since spring will be just around the corner.

mike: hey babe, i think you’re great and everything, but i think it’s time to see other people.
emily: is this just your way of avoiding taking me out for valentine’s day?

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