Wipe n’ Go


the seemingly impossible feat of somehow smearing a light, dry layer of feces onto the toilet while sitting on it, often resulting in n-body fessing up to it. it is unknown how exactly this stupid event occurs, but it is thought to happen in one or both of these ways:
1. wiping and then fumbling with the used toilet paper before getting in the toilet, thus dropping it on the back of the seat near the tailbone.
2. scooting off the toilet quickly in an attempt to get back to something quickly (i.e. tv, computer, etc.) or to pull one’s own pants up after a bathroom intrusion as the result of an unlocked door, resulting in the sliding of a half-wiped -n-s on the front of the toilet seat.
man: d-mn it, somebody did a wipe n’ go in here!!!!!!!

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