Woodend

a small town in australia half way between melbourne and bendigo. citizens from the half suburban/half country town tend to believe that they live in the “country” and take pleasure out of bagging the “city folk”. with at least 4 sh-tty pizza shops, woodend folk often turn up to the “19th hole shopping centre” wearing slippers and hairy clothes. while woodend claims to have farmers, most only own 3 horses and a labrador. woodend is always cold but never quite snows, bringing disappointment in the peak of every winter. woodend has one high school which almost no one can afford, forcing people to go to surrounding schools that are filled with drugs and do not offer sufficient transport facilities. twelvies from woodend are significantly worse than they are from other town and are gaining in numbers by the day. whilst their not as bad as year 7’s from kyenton, they make the seniors of the area ashamed. even though woodend is a hole, it remains better than kyenton, macedon and riddells creek. at least it’s main income is not from a dodgy af costume shop.

also, woodend does not have nando’s or taco bills.
“hey guys, lets take a trip down to woodend for overpriced pizza.”
“na m8, lets go to gisborne. their depetro’s didn’t go out of business within a year of opening.”
“even better, lets go to sunbury! i hear there hasn’t been a stabbing there in 3 weeks!”