Xbox One

this thing will be a failure. it requires you to connect to the internet once every 24 hours in order to play games. kinect is required for it to work. you have to pay a fee to play used games. games have to be installed in order to play and it has a hard drive that holds a mere 500 gb. it was officially announced in a live stream on may 21st, 2013.
i was going to buy the new xbox, but i changed my mind when i saw the xbox one announcement.
the newest t-rd that microsoft sh-t out of thier -sses.it makes the wii u look like a masterpiece. it is the one way to mult-task. it is also nightquil. this is also so big that i will need to remodel my house to fit it through my front door. it is the new definition of sh-t.it is also full of fat cardinals.
i just took a xbox one in the bathroom. it might be a little stinky.please turn on the fan.
1) micro$oft’s newest gaming console. side effects include: kinect requirements, vomiting, diarrhea, required internet connectivity, upset stomach, acute h-m-s-xuality, paying to play used games, big brother watching you while you sleep, itching, loss of sleep, regret, drm, suicidal thoughts, homicidal thoughts, h-m-erotic thoughts, mutations, loss of memory, guilt, shame, loss of social status, poverty, expired milk, rape, gender confusion, ident-ty theft, pedophilia, the fbi at your door, chris hansen at your door, cancer all over, 25 years in jail, divorce, antisemitism, communism, herpes, failure in life, an inverted p-n-s, autism, skynet, gonorrhea, daddy issues, irritable bowel syndrome, death, and squirrel aids. by purchasing this console, you are effectively signing a contract with satan, hitler, cthulu, nickelback, and obama saying that you’re a jew and you hate babies and kittens.

2) not the ps4. which lets you trade f-cking games and doesn’t dream about raping you while you sleep.

3) a $500 black t-rd (see also: xbone).
“hey, did you hear about the xbox one?”

“xbone? i hardly know her!”
the xbox one is an upcoming video game console from microsoft. announced on may 21, 2013, it is the successor to the xbox 360 and the third console in the xbox family of consoles. but don’t let the advertis-m-nts fool you. this is the worst game system known to man. this game system blocks all used games so your forced to buy each game brand new, since its equipped with the kinect 2.0 the system is never fully turned off unless you cut off the power manually (unplug power cord from wall), certain games are region locked so if you live anywhere other than the united states be prepared to get certain games blocked and you can forget about a refund since all purchases are final, you cant play any of your games unless your connected to the internet and signed up for xbox live (meaning you have to pay for online to play your games, even if its a single player game), and they have the saddest collection of exclusive games of all time.
go buy a ps4 and not an xbox one
microsoft’s latest addition to the xbox console franchise, which has been debuted in may of 2013. the successor to the xbox 360, the one sports more high a performance hardware, support for higher resolutions and 60 frames per second, much like (in some cases) a midrange gaming computer. with it’s somewhat updated graphics unit and 8 gb of ram, the one is a technological step up from the 360.
this console has been the center of ridicule in the gaming community for well over six months, up until it’s release in november. because there were growing concerns over drm and restricted library issues, a majority of consumers diverted their attention to the upcoming ps4. however, after its release, the one was able to stand up on its own as a formidable gaming platform. well over 4.2 million units around america have been installed and are being actively used by gaming enthusiasts every day. even so, as the one has surprised a number of gamers and consumers, it still comes under fire from multiple sides; dedicated sony fans and the other half of microsoft; pc.
all arguments aside, the one has finally shown some potential as a decent gaming machine, and the author is curious to see what content becomes available for it as the year goes on.
man 1: my xbox one finally came in the other day. loving the step up from last generation.

man 2: that’s cool. my ps4 is pretty awesome, too. shame we don’t have cross-console games yet.

man 3: you dumb-sses got consoles? f-ckin’ peasants. my pc rig only cost me $600 and games better than both of your f-g machines combined!

man 1 + 2: -turn and stare in unison-

man 1: really?