Yuuzhan Vong


an impudent alien race that’s outlook on life is incredibly flawed and ridiculous. the glorious galactic empire under the rule of emperor palpatine would have completely eradicated the yuuzhan vong had it still been in power.
the eclipse, the emperor’s flagship, could have wiped out the entire yuuzhan vong invasion force alone.
a kinky alien race in the star wars expanded universe who are into s/m and bondage. they have a type of weapon called an amphistaff which goes from a limp whip-like shape to a hardened staff shape, and hence are similar to human males. they are also into emo cutting.

they use biotech exclusively, and no regular tech. this means for example, that their doorways are actually the -n-s and sphincter of some giant animal, and the ship has to open its sphincter to let them off. they enjoy the erotic contractions provided by living armour and clothes. instead of lubricant they use something called blorash jelly.

they worship jaina solo, presumably because of her hot -ss.

they are able to improve themselves by cutting off parts of their body and replacing them with alien limbs. for example, a yuuzhan vong with a tiny d-ck would castrate himself and implant an elephant trunk or a live snake down there. if it didn’t take hold and dropped off, he would be a shamed one. surprisingly, he would not be shamed by walking round with an elephant trunk hanging out his pants.

the novel dark journey features a very erotic sequence involving yuuzhan vong warmaster tsavong lah and a female -ssistant, who he was meant to kill because she interrupted him while he was naked and saw his m-ssive tattooed c-ck, but he didn’t because he had a huge erection for her. since the yuuzhan vong glorify pain and death, s-x among them is doubtless extremely interesting to observe.

major yuuzhan vong ships are controlled by tentacle rape monsters called yammosks which coordinate the entire fleet through tentacles stuck up the -n-ses of the other living ships.

tsup, the yuuzhan vong word for a s-x slave, is introduced in edge of victory: rebirth as an insult used by a shaper master.

vong web chat would look something like this (except they’d be doing it over villips or something):
tsulah_kang1: 0mg u r an infidel n00b i spit on ur shoes u meat-maggot eating on the remains of a shamed one
vorhuul_rah: stfu or gtfo u r not worthy u plead for mercy, yun yuuzhan frownz upon j00 rolfmao!1111
tsulah_kang1: ur mom was an infidel robotscrewer and u r not worthy 2b in my presence u gtfo
vorhuul_rah: silence or i c-m over der and stick my amphistaff in ur jeedai-f-cking -ss
uses in everyday conversation:

1. shut your f-cking face, you yuuzhan-vong-f-cker! you f-cked a yuuzhan vong in the -ss.

2. why are you jamming that cuc-mber up your c-nt? are you a yuuzhan vong or something?

3. how dare you infidels besmirch the honour of domain novartis! prepare to die!
a creature from outside the known galaxy who causes the deaths of anakin solo and chewbacca, not to mention countless thousands of other civilians in their quest to purify the galaxy.
the yuuzhan vong have sacrificed your mother.
a race outside of the force under the command of onimi, but really under the command of shimmra. they’re quest was to purify the galaxy of all the “infedels” and there droids and any mechanical machine or building. everything of them was living not a single peice of equipment was mechanical. they killed chewbacca anakin and billions of people in the galaxy
i know all

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