Alfalfa Male
a kind of fellow some ladies in search of an alpha male may end up with.
the key distinction here is that instead of being the man’s man they were looking for (charming, confident and entertaining), deep inside he’s fundamentally still a kid whom:
1) is capable to ending up in trouble for doing sh-t as dumb as h-ll.
2) hangs out with equally maladjusted, immature friends.
3) may often show more interest in sh-t like wrestlemania on tv, playing videogames and fidgeting idiotic apps than in an actual night out with his woman.
from the character of the old tv series “the little rascals”, a.k.a “our gang”.
woman1: “how’s sheena? i heard she got a new bf…”
woman2: “yeah, whom she tended to sat-rday night at the er after he opened his forehead on a tree branch by riding stolen bicycles p-ssed drunk with his friends. got picked up by the cops and they had to give him ten st-tches”.
woman1: “wow, i thought she needed her alpha male…”
woman2: “yup she did, and she ended up with her alfalfa male. he’s 37, by the way”.
woman1: (eye-rolling)
a vain, attention desperate dude who fancies himself the hottest sh-t on a shingle, who also likewise insinuates himself into other people’s situations as the head #1 top dog boss and authority over everyone, when in actuality, he is a raging loser socially clueless dork with zero personality, whom everyone dreads and loathesomely tolerates the presence and existence of, and whom all communally wish would just shut up, go away, and possibly die.
alfalfa males are sticklers for the rule book because they go to bed reading it cover to cover every night.
dude, dwight shrute is a total alfalfa male. i know so many people just like him. they think they’re in charge of sh-t but really they’re just stuck in middle management for life!
pony-tailed, sensitive, hemp wearing male somehow quite attractive to certain females. these are often vegetarian/vegans and great fans of poetry. usually are environmentalists.
scott is such an alfalfa male, a complete p-ssy but the chicks dig him.
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