birds and the bees
explaining to children about s-x.
girl: daddy, how are babies made?
father: daddy plants a seed in mummys’ tummy
girl: does she swallow the seed?
father: only if she wants a new dress
small boy: what is a masturbation?
teacher: that’s a mouthfull for someone of your age
small boy: no, a mouthfulls a bl-w j-b.
according to tradition, the birds and the bees is a metaphorical story sometimes told to children in an attempt to explain the mechanics and consequence of s-xual intercourse. according to that story the birds are like men and the bees like women: birds are free to fly wherever they like, but bees are enslaved to a single queen their entire life and their whole life is dedicated to keeping her alive. bees pollinate flowers, birds spread the seed, men impregnate eggs, women give birth. s-x is key for survival of both.
let me tell you ’bout the birds and the bees
1)the talk that a parent (usually a mother) gives her daughter/son on the night of their first date, containing safe s-x, or abstinence. the whole point of the ‘birds and bees’ is to convince you not to have s-x.
2)the most annoying talk in the world.
1) mom- honey, we need to talk.
daughter- mom, i don’t want the ‘birds and the bees’ talk.
mom- but you need to know not to have s-x. you could get pregnant and die!
daughter- we’re just going to a friend’s house for a small get-together.
mom- are there going to be a lot of boys there?
daughter- no mom, it’s a nun club.
typical parents’ attempt to describe s-x to their kids
ok, son, it’s time to talk about the birds and the bees…
f-ck me baby
put that thing in mine like the birds and the bees
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