canadian heritage moments


commercials made by the historica -ssociation of canada, outlining canada’s “achievements” in 60-second shorts. considered by canadians to be hilarious, people of any other nationality just don’t get them.
i saw the canadian heritage moment with the mountie last night, eh? that’s the best one.
no way- the inukshuk one is by far the best.
a series of 30-second commercial spots that describe events in canadian history. the acting quality in these low-budget commercial spots is rather poor.
halifax explosion: “come on vince! come on!”
school board dumb-ss: “both of ye know i cannot read a word.”
mountie sam steel: “he didn’t even have a gun! why didn’t i shoot that guy?”
first multiplex: “you don’t like 15? how about 21?”
first microwave comm network: “we’ll build a cable car!”
inventor of basketball: “but i need these baskets back.”
creator of superman: “a superhero in tights? it will never fly joe.”
underground railroad: “where’s pa?!?!”
arctic natives: “now the people will know we were here.”
early explorers: “that word they used, ‘canada’. i think it means ‘the village’.”
defense of quebec: “i will answer from the mouth of my cannon.”
laura second: “take me to fitzgibbon.”
irish refugees: “we need to keep our irish names!”
others: jailed french author, native american refugees, signal hill (first wireless broadcast), wwii female fighter pilot, many more…
historical shorts whose goal is to make canadian history as boring, lame, and respectable as possible. the actors appear to be given about 35 seconds to rehe-rs- the script, which usually appears to have been written in about four minutes (by a friend of the producer’s). they are the quintessential product of upper-cl-ss canadian culture — a condescending attempt to interest the proles in “their” history.
“oh, you crazy canadian kids!” is an actual line from a canadian heritage moment.

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