carlos valencia


1. a man cursed with bad luck
2. a material thing which is cursed.
3. an obstacle to success.

origin: an urban legend in which a man named carlos valencia toured the country as one of the world’s greatest jugglers, in the late 19th century. one week, the circus show was cancelled, and carlos came home early only to discover his wife in bed with another man- a man who wore nothing except for a black fedora. as the man leapt from carlos’ bed, and out of the house, his fedora fell to the ground. his wife ran after, and from that day on carlos could never juggle again. he would throw the b-lls up, but he couldn’t remember how to catch them. the circus fired him, and he quickly lost his house. legend has it, that to carry his shame, he lived the rest of his days wandering the streets of a southern city, wearing only that fedora. one day, years later, a man recognized him in the street and stopped. it was a fire eater from the circus. the man said, “carlos. you looked better without the fedora.” “no,” came the solemn reply. “carlos,” said the veteran fire eater, “lose the fedora.” “no,” came the reply. then the fire eater offered to buy the fedora from him, but carlos said, “it’s not for sale sir. i will never let this hat be worn by another man, as that man will surely look better than i.”
1. “how come everytime the bills get to the super bowl they pull a carlos valencia?”

2. pirate: “son of a b-tch!”
wench: “what’s the matter?”
pirate: i just saw an albatross. we’ve been carlos valenciad.”
wench: what does that mean?
pirate: shut the h-ll up wench!

3.
“you just got carlos valenciad.”
“what do you mean?”
“i mean your wife’s been hooking up with a dude who wears a fedora.”
“no!”

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