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many mortals are familiar with the mighty clock spider, defeator of limecat, who once was photographed behind a clock. most mortals think that clock spider is the supreme huntsman spider deity. little do they know that another mighty spider indeed exists and that the balance of power in the heavens is also underlined and influenced by…

the cheesy hotel painting spider.

with uncanny agility, the spider can flatten itself to the wall and scurry with such speed that the earth’s rotation speed at the equator increased by 0.1 km/h to its current speed of 1,669.8 km/h.

within minutes, global warming increased, icebergs begin to melt, and al gore’s book sales increased by 23% causing riots in every major city in the world because if he was right about that, maybe he was also correct about manbearpig.

will cheesy hotel painting spider team up with clock spider to once and for all defeat limecat?

or… w will cheesy hotel painting spider double cross clock spider and side with limecat to defeat closk spider?
the cheesy hotel painting spider is know to become violent upon hearing the catchphrase “but wait there’s more” on the ronco showtime stainless steel stamped 20-piece knife set infomercial.
the cheesy hotel painting spider is an relatively misunderstood spider that may challenge clock spider’s and limecat’s role of g-d to all.

the cheesy hotel painting spider was in fact once captured and released back into the wild.

the tale begins after a family returned back to their hotel room in cabo san lucas after a long day of snorkeling and saying “no” to shady individuals who wanted to sell locally crafted merchandise that was really made in china.

all of a sudden, a spider emerged from behind a cheesy hotel painting with the swiftness of a something really really really fast, the ferocity of a rhinoceros protecting her calf, and using tactics usurping those of the bushmen of the kalahari.

after the spider appeared from a cheesy hotel painring the father and son swiftly made weapons, arming themselves with a rubbermaid trash can, a brightly colored beach towel, and drew carey’s book, dirty jokes and beer.

as the surf pounded the cliffs below, a colony of seagulls cried out like a symphony of organs in d minor. one could smell the crisp sent of the antic-p-tion of the starting of a battle of epic and legendary proportions.

everyone peed, just a little.

after many minutes, maybe even a dozen minutes, well certainly more than ten, but not more than fifteen minutes, the spider was captured in the trash can and then released outside the hotel room where it pounced once, twice, then thrice into the devilish night.
the cheesy hotel painting spider has not yet revealed if it will team up with clock spider, or double cross its huntsman heritage and take sides with limecat.